


Alone in the Dark

by Tally



Series: To Fall and Rise Again [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Clone Wars (TV 2008)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-23
Updated: 2012-07-23
Packaged: 2017-11-10 14:07:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/467158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tally/pseuds/Tally
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The rebels are celebrating a victory against the Empire, but not everyone can enjoy it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alone in the Dark

**Author's Note:**

> Just a snippet from my AU. This is set between The Fallen and The Lost.

Quinlan Vos stood in the open doorway, the light from the hangar streamed into the darkened room around him, throwing shadows against the durasteel walls. Other than this light, the room was dark, but the Jedi master could still make out the sole occupant, huddled at the table that sat in the room's centre.

'You should be out there,' he said by way of greeting, gesturing vaguely behind him, where distant music and laughter could be heard, coming from the far side of the hangar, away from the rooms used for planning, briefings and meetings. 'Not in here, alone in the dark.'

As he spoke, the Jedi palmed the light on, stepping into the room fully so that the door slid shut behind him. The room was not improved much by the light. Basic furniture: desk, chair, table and cot all wordlessly spoke of a life spent in selfless pursuit. In a place where space was a premium, the occupant of this room was privileged as he did not share it with any others, a gift from his comrades in recognition of his status and his work. The rebels were a motley collection of Jedi, civilians and old soldiers with only a loose command structure to guide them, but if they had a leader, this man was he. 

Vos studied the man sat at the table, data pads scattered before him, but he was not looking at them, instead the lone man sat, elbows resting on the table, chin on his hands, gazing into nothing, or so it appeared. Even Quinlan's entrance had not disturbed the man. He tried again.

'This is your victory,' he said, sitting at the table opposite the other man. 'Our first big success against the Empire. You should be celebrating with us.'

'I can't,' the other man said, still not looking at his companion. 'I don't want to.'

'Why not?' The question escaped the Jedi before he could think better of it.

At last green eyes, that every day that Quinlan saw them looked a decade older, rose to meet the Jedi's.

'I don't like how they look at me.' The confession was quiet, almost a whisper in the isolated room. 

Vos sat back, studying his old friend more closely, noting all the differences and all the things that remained the same. They had known each other since they were boys and through their apprenticeship, but their knighting had not been the destiny either of them had expected. Vos had lost himself in a darkening galaxy and his friend had lost himself to grief. They were boys no longer and although Quinlan had fought in a war, almost fallen to the Dark side and seen the Republic fall, he thought it was his friend that had changed the most. This man who had lived alone for a decade, apart from his family, from those who understood him and his gifts, because the one closest to him had pushed him away. But Vos did not think it was the intervening years that changed the boy he had known, but the months since the rise of the Empire. Green eyes that always seemed to see more than they should, suddenly had more knowledge than any man should have as the Force took one of its own and moulded him into its weapon, showing him visions of the past and the future so that he may save them all. 

'How do they look at you?' Vos finally asked, fearing he already know the answer.

'Like I'm their saviour. Like I'm the only hope there is left.' Green eyes once again met the Jedi's and Quinlan saw accusation in their depths. 'Even the people who knew me before look at me differently. I can't stand it, Quin.'

The Jedi master did not know what to say, because it was true. Even Quinlan looked at his boyhood friend like salvation, but then this man had saved him, found him amongst the dregs of life, holding on for the simple reason that he was too stubborn to lay down and die. He gave him a purpose and an army of the forgotten ones to lead. He gave them hope and victories and when he was not fighting or planning, he was out in the galaxy, finding the other Jedi and bringing them home.

'Ben,' he started, using the name the man had used for more than ten years, despite how wrong it felt as it fell from his lips, foreign and twisted. He ignored the feeling, carrying on speaking, hoping he could find the words to help his friend. 'I can't tell you you’re wrong and for that I am sorry, but you are our leader; you found us, you fight with us and they all, we all, look at you as though you are different because you are.'

'I don't want to be,' was said in quiet desperation. 'I'm not even a Jedi and here I am leading them.'

'Obi-Wan,' Vos said and this time the name felt right, the Force aglow to hear it spoken into the air, even if it was in this secret place between those who already knew it. 'You are a Jedi, you always were and you are doing as the Force asks as a Jedi should. I cannot begin to imagine the burden you carry, the things that the Force shows you so that you are able to give us our victories, but my friend never think, just because we look at you differently does not mean we do not think you are one of us. You are a Jedi, a reminder of the old ways and a vision of the future.'

Quinlan stopped speaking, taking a moment to think what else he should say, when he suddenly knew what needed to be asked.

'Why don't you go get him?'

The response was instantaneous, Obi-Wan shot up from his seat, standing erect and breathing heavily in his distress. There was no need to clarify who he meant. 

'No,' was the emphatic answer. 'It is not yet time.'

'Are you sure?' Quinlan asked, emboldened by the response to his first question, knowing that for once he may be able to help his friend. 'Or are you just delaying because you do not wish to face him?'

'What would I say to him, Quin?' Obi-Wan asked, sounding desperate. 'I left him and the Jedi; I was so angry and afraid and I don't know what else, but I left.'

'Yes, you did and I admit at the time I was as surprised as everyone else, but Obi-Wan…' Vos stood and walked around the table until he stood before the other Jedi, meeting his even stare. 'You were right to go, if you had not, who knows where we would be now. The Force protected us by protecting you.'

'I was so alone, Quin, and sometimes I hate the Force for leading me to that life only to drag me back to my old one when Darkness has all but swallowed it. I can't face Qui-Gon; he'll see though me and then I will truly be lost.'

'Yes he will,' Vos said, putting his hands on Obi-Wan's shoulders, trying to offer physical comfort. 'And no you won’t. Go find him, Obi-Wan, do something for yourself rather than the cause for once. Go find your master and bring him back here. It was his apprentice that fell to the Sith. Offer him his chance at redemption and make amends for all those lost years.'

Quinlan withdrew his touch, and stepped away. He looked at his friend, uncertain if his words had had an impact. 

'I'll leave you now,' he said with a smile. 'You may not want to celebrate, but I need a good drink and a friendly smile.'

The Jedi master turned to leave, but as he got to the door a voice stopped him.

'Thank you, Quin.' Quinlan nodded. 'And turn the light out as you go.'

Vos sighed, fearing that he had not reached Obi-Wan after all, but he did as he was asked, plunging the room back into darkness as he left. He walked back towards the crowd of people still gathered in celebration. He would give Obi-Wan time, but if the other Jedi did not follow through on his advice he would take matters into his own hands. After all, of all the surviving Jedi, he knew where Qui-Gon Jinn was and even if he could not go to the exiled Jedi master he was sure he could convince another to go in his stead. 

With a smile, Quinlan Vos rejoined the party, knowing the future was taken care of.


End file.
